Another "FUN" Day with the Bates

Last night Brookelyn came down with a fever (103). So what do you think we immediately thought? Yep, Swine Flu! Needless to say I got very little sleep, getting up and checking to make sure she was still breathing okay. This morning she still had a fever of 101.8, so at 8:30 on the dot when the office opened, and after much "coaching" from Allen (things like, "ask if she can go to the gym," "ask how it is spread," "ask if we need Tamiflu too," and my favorite at 7:40 am, "have you called yet; why not!?") I called the pediatrician. She gave us a 10:15 am appointment--perfect, right at Braedyn's naptime, but the Swine Flu took precedent of course.

Once at the pediatrician I unloaded everyone, and of course Braedyn was sleeping and woke up MAD. Brookelyn had been to the pediatrician already on Tuesday for a summer school check-up and received a Chicken Pox booster, so she immediately began asking if she had to get a shot. I reassured her that there would be no shots today, but of course that didn't stop her from asking me at least 33 more times while I exchanged "Does your child have Swine Flu?" glances with the other mommies. Those mommies didn't intimiate me though, we used our hand sanitizer several times while waiting, as Brookelyn insisted upon rubbing and touching every coughed on toy there.

The nurse finally called Brookelyn's name and we began to follow her, but before Brookelyn would walk through the door she said seriously, "Mommy, tell the nurse that I am not getting a shot." I obliged and Brookelyn was weighed and temperature taken. The nurse even asked her if she was getting her picture taken today because she looked so cute. Then the real fun began. Brookelyn needed a flu test. Being the smart thinking mommy that I am, I had already practiced swabbing the inside of her mouth at home so she wouldn't be scared. Wrong--the nurse needed to stick the swab up her nose! Brookelyn was NOT happy and squirmed and cried as the nurse stuck the swab up her nose. The nurse commented, "At least we don't have to do the Strep Test," and then left to get the results. The doctor came in, talked to us, and examined Brookelyn. All went well until Brookelyn wouldn't open her mouth wide enough for the pediatrician to see inside. Once the Dr. pulled out the tongue depressor Brookelyn lost it--she was convinced it was going to hurt. No amount of explaining or comforting would work until the Dr. put it down. So, I used my finger to hold down her tongue, and of course her throat was bright red! Guess what--Strep Test time! All I could think of was the nurse's comment as she left the room earlier. Brookelyn's smart self turned to me and asked, "Mommy, what is a Strep Test?" I didn't want to lie, so I carefully explained that the nurse was going to stick the swab on the back of her throat. Of course, the water-works returned and no amount of bribery worked (I tried donuts and cheese-dip). She decided she wanted to go to the bathroom--of course--we rarely go anywhere without her having to go to the bathroom at the most inopportune times. So we all trapsed through the office to the bathroom and back, Brookelyn whimpering the whole time, knowing what was coming. Back in the exam room, I continued to bribe and comfort. The nurse then walked in, and Brookelyn exclaimed loudly and rudely, "I DON'T LIKE THAT NURSE!" I was embarrassed, but who could blame her? We carried her to the table and tried to hold her down. When I tell you she is strong--she is STRONG!! I was supposed to hold her hands by her head, stabilizing her head at the same time I kept her hands away from the nurse. Brookelyn ripped ALL the exam paper off the table with her kicking, screamed until she realized that allowed the nurse to get at her throat, and then proceeded to make wild grunting noises with her mouth shut since that prevented the nurse from getting in. I hate to say this, but I was almost laughing because I could not believe this exorcist-like person was my child. Don't they say tears and laughter are almost the same at times of crisis? The nurse finally got Brookelyn's sealed lips apart and pulled out the feared tongue depressor to pry her little teeth apart. As you can imagine that depressor was not popular with her. Finally, the nurse pried them apart and managed to get the swab down her throat. As soon as we let Brookelyn go, she looked at the nurse with the meanest look I have ever seen her give and let out a low, gravely, "I DID NOT LIKE THAT!" And when I tell you she sounded like a demon possessed her, I mean it. I think she scared the nurse a little bit! So, nurse leaves for the results and Brookelyn starts gaging. I think she is okay and she gags about three more times. I set her on my lap facing me so I can hug her, and look into her eyes to calm her down and on her next gag, she puked ALL OVER ME and herself! If you know Brookelyn, you know she HATES puke and being dirty. She was NOT happy with this latest development and started freaking out wanting me to take all her clothes and shoes off. I poke my head out and asked for towels to clean us all up and find some nice lady who sends for Brookelyn's favorite nurse. I wipe us off the best I can, clean out Brookelyn's sandals, and the "mean nurse" brings us an old extra t-shirt for Brookelyn to wear. Finally, the Dr. returns and tells us that Brookelyn does not have the flu, but she does have Strep. I made sure to ask all the hypochondriac questions Allen ordered, got our prescription, and led my panty and t-shirt clad Brookelyn who most definitely would not be asked if she was going to get her picture made now to the front desk. Oh--Braedyn was there too--poor kid was all but forgotten during this drama. He was probably terrified worrying that he was next (truth be told he already went through the wringer last week when he had to visit the pee-pee doctor). I led Brookelyn next door (basically naked) and bought her a donut with pink icing and sprinkles; she was somewhat happy.
Let's hope the antibiotics clear up her Strep, that no one else gets in the house gets it (most of all not Allen), and that we never have to see that "mean nurse" or Brookelyn's possessed self again!!